Once upon a time, except it really happened, I was standing in a church office as the pastor returned fuming mad after lunch. A member of the congregation had just lit into him for changing the Lord’s Prayer the Sunday prior. The congregation had “always” used the version with “trespasses” and he had switched the bulletin to the version that used “sins” instead.

To improve the condition or strength of something worn-out or weak is to revive it. When an old toy or concept becomes popular or important again (insert bellbottoms) it is revived or experiencing a state of revival. In a church setting, a revival, for those who have never experienced it, is a series of services, usually within a weeks’ time, intended to awaken the heart to the critical need to accept God as your personal Lord and Savior.

As a little girl sitting alone in my acolyte robe on the front pew of my small-town church, my legs too short to touch the floor, I remember being terrified of the pastor. Dressed in his robe of all black, towering over me from the pulpit, he yelled, a lot. Of course, my small, undeveloped brain from nearly 40 years ago does not remember the actual words he used, but the feelings persist.

God of the universe, I come to you now as the United States of America navigates this presidential election. Lord, hear my prayer. Speak clearly to me, guide my thoughts and actions as I actively exercise my right to vote for those who will lead this country. Lord, hear my prayer. Open my ears to hear your voice in my neighbors – all my neighbors, red neighbors, and blue neighbors – those with whom I agree and disagree. Lord, hear my prayer.

When my youngest was born, I started an 18-month journey to lose 100 pounds. It was not easy. I learned a number of lessons during that journey – some I remember and some I have forgotten. This post is a reminder of what I thought I had forgotten.

I realized I haven’t been “worshipping” in the way I feel I needed to…in a way that is present and vulnerable, in a way that reminds me I am there to give thanks and praise. I’ve been busy, diligent, managing technology mishaps and weather. I am not one bit upset by this and I wouldn’t change it - I actually debated writing this because I don’t dare come across as upset or complaining…instead, I write this to process my experience and emotions from this week. Perhaps others have similar experiences.

If you’ve ever been in a toxic or unhealthy relationship, perhaps you understand what it means to “guard your heart.” You limit your time and energy with that person. If you’re feeling the toxicity of the election and polarization of our country, then perhaps you are guarding your heart against social media during this time. Our minds naturally create space to protect us from those things that hurt us. Yesterday was World Mental Health Day, with the overall objective of raising awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilizing efforts in support of mental health.

Creator of this new day, I rise in a fog of pandemic uncertainty, fear, and grief. It takes longer for my eyes to adjust each day to the newness you offer. It takes longer for my mind to begin considering the tasks and conversations that must happen to keep this world I know moving - and yet, you give me this new day. I feel the weight of the responsibility and lack the ability to carry it. I feel the hurt and pain of so many and lack the ability to comfort them. It is a slog - a daily pandemic slog.

God of the universe, It is evening and once again, my day has left me frustrated, exhausted, and hopeless. These days, each day, I feel more overwhelmed, unproductive, and isolated.

My husband is a pastor and he points out to others all the time that I say, “pruning is Biblical.” I do say that. A lot. I say it because I believe it and honestly, it is a core value that guides my leadership style. Nothing is meant to last forever. It makes me sound callous or harsh to some, but I have seen the positive future impact of pruning things from my own life that weigh me down, preoccupy me, or make me unproductive.

Prayer breathing is a spiritual discipline thought to be born out of Psalm 150, as best I can tell. The monks in the 5th century took the final verse of the final Psalm to heart and created a method of praying with each breath in and each breath out. Have you heard the saying, “there are no new original ideas any more?” Quilt patterns certainly fall into this category at times. I imagine prayer breathing falls into that same reality. So, for purposes of teaching the practice here, let’s set a foundation.

It never occurred to me to consider what it means to be strong as a child. It wasn't part of the vocabulary of my life. It wasn’t until after I lost 100 pounds and started running marathons and lifting weights that I began to allow the idea of strength to settle in my mind and self image. But that was a mistake. My trainers at the gym would talk about building strength, but that was code for a self absorbed image in most cases.