A Mountain Top Experience
I realized I haven’t been “worshipping” in the way I feel I needed to…in a way that is present and vulnerable, in a way that reminds me I am there to give thanks and praise. I’ve been busy, diligent, managing technology mishaps and weather. I am not one bit upset by this and I wouldn’t change it - I actually debated writing this because I don’t dare come across as upset or complaining…instead, I write this to process my experience and emotions from this week. Perhaps others have similar experiences.
the mountain top experience
I know what people mean when they say they had a “mountain top experience.” It is a reference to Jesus and the Transfiguration story (see below). As a leader in the church, we often worry that people visit our faith communities looking for extreme feelings of joy, contentment, or excitement and if that can’t be consistently repeated, people fizzle out - they stop coming. Climbing to the top of a mountain is hard work, but worth it - beautiful. Once you arrive and look out over creation you can’t help but feel joy, contentment, and excitement.
But it isn’t sustainable.
Friends, you have to make the hike back down the mountain too. And again, it takes work. If we are lucky, we have at least one mountain top experience in our life. Can you name one for yourself?
This week, I had an opportunity to gather at Lutheridge in Arden, NC for an annual Rostered Leaders Convocations with the SC Synod. For my non-ELCA friends - rostered leader is a fancy term for pastors and deacons. That means, that all the ELCA clergy from around SC had an opportunity to gather for continuing education, Bible study, worship, and fellowship. It is a week I look forward to each year, but this year was different. Only about 1/3 of the average attendants came. With so much going on in the world it is scary and hard to get away and to feel safe…so I wasn’t sure what to expect.
Because of my own adventures as a virtual school mom dealing with full-on meltdowns, I arrived the day after I had hoped to be there, and just in time for worship that evening. Worship was held in the chapel where the windows open completely to make the space feel “outside.” We sat in single chairs placed in a circle far apart and wore our masks. As evening drew in around us, I sat quietly waiting for worship to begin. Then, all together, about 20 voices began singing the same Taize hymn again and again…
wait for the Lord…whose day is near…
wait for the Lord…
be strong take heart…
My heart was tired. My brain was tired.
But as the voices rose, my heart melted.
The tired feelings lifted. I wasn’t prepared for how these words and the sound of unified voices for the first time in 8 months would affect my pandemic state of mind. And then, my friend and colleague, Pastor Shannon read from John 6…the bread texts, and we were affirmed that God sees abundance in what we believe to be a little. God provides. God gives God’s self that we might be fed and freed, again and again.
Yes, I was tired. Yes, I know the world is tired. And even still, at that moment, I not only believed, but I felt that God’s abundance was filling the empty spaces in my life - the spaces I am too tired to fill.
God filled them with music, with breezes, with the sounds of crickets, with prayer, with Gospel, and with the repeating of words…wait for the Lord…whose day is near…wait for the Lord…be strong take heart…
As full as I was, that was not the mountain top…the mountain top was realizing…God was already near. God has been near the entire time. I thought I was waiting, in my own inability to connect and find rest, God was already near…there…strong for me. Strong with me. Taking my heart and gathering it in, and that night, I was once again reminded. In that, I found my worship. I found the ability to give thanks to God for God’s abundance and for nourishing my faith. I was able to give thanks to God for never leaving me and for slogging through this pandemic tiredness with me.
We were created to be in a community. I hear from so many on a regular basis how much they miss their churches and their faith community. This is real. If this is you, friend - or if you have been longing for community, be strong. Take heart…because God is near. God is here. God remains.
Matthew 17: 1-8 ~ The Transfiguration
17 Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and his brother John and led them up a high mountain, by themselves. 2 And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white. 3 Suddenly there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him. 4 Then Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if you wish, I[a] will make three dwellings[b] here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” 5 While he was still speaking, suddenly a bright cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud a voice said, “This is my Son, the Beloved;[c] with him I am well pleased; listen to him!” 6 When the disciples heard this, they fell to the ground and were overcome by fear. 7 But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Get up and do not be afraid.” 8 And when they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus himself alone.
New Revised Standard Version