As you walk through this life, may you recognize God in your midst. In the shadows, and classrooms, and bedrooms, and office spaces, and social spaces, and in all spaces, may you feel the presence of the Spirit there, in, with, and through you, lifting your chin, filling your cup, giving you rest, and claiming you as a child of God fully as completely as your whole wonderfully beautiful self.

In my previous way of thinking, hearing this scripture from Luke, and saying the Lord’s prayer each Sunday in worship as a child and young adult, I heard the words through the lens of my childhood theology. What I heard was a list of things that I wanted and needed God to do for me – feed me, forgive me, deliver me, keep me away from those people who hurt me. The structure of the prayer was broken down into categories of prayer petitions that provided a model for how all of my prayers should be spoken. And doesn’t it stand to reason, that when a model is provided, our human nature is to deviate from the model as rebels and then feel guilty?

There are moments I can pretend and contain it, and there are moments it lashes out in a harsh word or avoidance. I recognize it, but I can’t stop it. I see it. It is a huge booming voice pressing down on my head, my shoulders.

Throughout my childhood, an act was either a sin or it wasn’t. Being saved meant asking Jesus Christ to be your personal Lord and Savior and then not messing up moving forward. If you did mess up, you must ask for forgiveness to be safe/saved. But, as I grew in my life and faith and met new people in other denominations, my firm foundation was crumbling. Today, as I sat down to write a reflection on the upcoming text from New Year’s Day, I realized it was Matthew 25: 31-46, one of my favorites. It felt like a blatant Holy Spirit moment that I use this text to continue on with the Pondering Part 1 post.

At first, there was this idea that perhaps some actions had been mislabeled. That did a number on my heart and my head. If the church authorities were wrong about some things, then how was I to be certain they were not wrong about all things. And if I can’t be certain then it means I can’t be saved.